


You Still Know I Won't Cry

by musicalgirl4474



Series: Febuwhump 2021 [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean doesn't understand the reality of depression, Depressed Sam Winchester, Depression, FebuWhump2021, Gen, I'm projecting onto Sam again, Oversleeping, he's a bit alpha-male about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:47:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29495283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicalgirl4474/pseuds/musicalgirl4474
Summary: Day 8: "hey hey, this is not the time to go to sleep"Sam's not doing well. Dean notices, and doesn't like what Bobby has to say on the matter. After all, brain chemistry can't be ignored.
Series: Febuwhump 2021 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140197
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	You Still Know I Won't Cry

Sam’s starting to get worried. His mind is constantly fuzzy with exhaustion, even when he wakes on his own, a full night’s sleep behind him. He feels like he’s constantly running on fumes, even in the middle of the day when he should be alert.

Sam searches his duffel, the Impala, everything that has gone with him and his brother from motel to motel, but there are no hex bags. No EMF when he checks. No ectoplasm running from his ears, no aversion to silver. Whatever was going on, it wasn’t obviously supernatural.

He doesn’t tell Dean. This doesn’t mean that Dean doesn’t _notice_ , but he mostly just rubs Sam about being lazy, doesn’t seem actually concerned, which was good.

Sam’s always slept best in the Impala, but he falls asleep too easily now. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, he never has enough energy that he won’t fall into a nap. (Most of his ‘naps’ are at least four hours now, and that’s how much he used to sleep on an average night.) He’d try to do some research about it, but it just doesn’t seem important, and he barely has the energy to research cases, let alone a little over-sleeping problem.

Dean is worried. Sam’s always been a light sleeper, prone to night terrors. Still, even as a kid he hadn’t slept this much. He’ll sleep 12 hours in a night if Dean doesn’t wake him up, will yawn and blink his way through a few hours before falling into a nap (usually hours long) if they don’t have a case. At first, Dean had thought his perpetually sleep-deprived little brother was catching up on some much-needed brain rest. But no. It’s been happening for months. He calls Bobby.

“There are all kinds of non-supernatural reasons for sleeping like that, boy,” Bobby says over the phone. “None of which are gonna get any better if he’s being dragged all over the country. Why don’t you come stay with me for a while?”

“Yeah, could use a break anyway,” Dean says, eyeing Sam where he’s sprawled on the motel bed, still in jeans and boots. “Got a bit knocked around by the most recent ghost, some of my ribs are creaking at me.”

“Your body is older‘n it has any right to be, given the number o’ years it’s been on this Earth,” Bobby rumbles. “You make your way here, but don’t go pushing yourself.”

“Be there by tomorrow morning,” Dean says, and hangs up. He moves to where Sam is sleeping. “Hey bud,” he says, grabbing at one shoulder. “Now’s not the time to be asleep.”

“M-kay,” Sam groans, and stretches, turns over onto his back. Blinks sleepily as he sits up. “Where we goin’?”

“We got a bit banged up last night, thought we’d head to Bobby’s, recover in comfort.”

Sam doesn’t seem suspicious, which is good, because recently any time Dean tried to take care of him, Sam got this guilty look in his eyes like he didn’t deserve it and turned away. Which is stupid, but whatever. Maybe Bobby could fix that along with the sleeping thing.

Or maybe Sam isn’t suspicious because he’s too damn tired to be. He falls back asleep as soon as they’re on their way in the Impala.

Bobby hadn’t been worried, but now he is. Sam had stumbled half-asleep out of that ‘67 Impala and straight upstairs with his and Dean’s bags and hadn’t come back down.

“He slept the whole way here,” Dean says, running a hand down his face. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“Has Sam been quieter than normal recently?” Bobby asks, a worried thought burrowing in the back of his mind.

“I mean, duh, he’s been asleep more than awake.”

It would be hard to tell anyway, Bobby supposes. Sam’s always been the brooding type, like John. But unlike John, Sam’s brooding was sad and hurt. John’s had always been angry.

“I can’t make a real diagnosis, I’m no doctor,” Bobby says gently, watching Dean’s face closely. He wouldn’t put it past the hard-headed young man to react _mean_ to the news. “But Sam wouldn’t be the first hunter to suffer from depression, and he won’t be the last.”

Dean’s face flushes. “Sam’s not-”

“Don’t be a fool boy,” Bobby warns, pointing a finger at the young man who may as well be his son. “Brain chemistry ain’t nothing that can be controlled or ignored.” Dean looks suitably chagrined.

“Now,” he continues, “Depression usually comes with insomnia, but it’s not entirely rare for oversleeping to occur. Honestly, hard to tell when you’ve got insomnia with how little sleep the average hunter gets. Now, with depression, it’s usually best to keep to a sleep schedule, even if it’s goin’ to bed at eight and getting up at eight. Twelve hours ain’t gonna hurt his health the way sixteen will.”

“No naps?”

“No naps,” he affirms. “There are some medications that can help with the cause of the depression if it’s chemical, but most of the time people can manage the symptoms. Meditation, a schedule, some fucking support . . .” he gives Dean a look.

Dean nods. “I’ll help him,” he says. Bobby sighs.

“This isn’t a short-term thing Dean,” he says. “And I know how you and Sam are, you’re gonna get mad at each other, you’re gonna fight. What Sam needs is a support network he can rely on even when the two of you are on bad terms. I’m here for him, but it might be a good idea to see if he can find an online forum of some kind. There are places where people help each other with stuff like this.”

Bobby knew that Dean would not take well to Sam relying on anyone but him, which was unhealthy in the extreme, and is not surprised when Dean shakes his head.

“No,” he says. “No strangers, none of them could really help Sam anyway. I can put aside arguments, and when I can’t, you’ll be there for him.” Bobby wonders if Dean knows how harmful it is that he never really let Sam have friends outside of the life. Dean had always made and lost friends easily, hopping from school to school. Sam had only really ever had Dean and a couple short friendships, which had been few-and-far between. No wonder the boy has depression.

Dean walks away then, shoulders tense. Bobby hears Dean waking Sam up with a much-too-loud rendition of ‘good morning to you’. He hopes to God that Dean is right and he’s all Sam needs, but he doesn’t think it’s true.


End file.
